I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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