Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sext me about skeletons
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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