hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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