fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
