What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
