I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
