Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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