dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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