I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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