Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
