She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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