He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
babies were throwing up all over the place
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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