Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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