Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
bring money and cleavage
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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