No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
