you would pick up someone in the library
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
