I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
