I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
