Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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