you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
