Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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