Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
