She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
