Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
