You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
