I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
