all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
