stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
