Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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