Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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