its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
