A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
