This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
