he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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