i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
