Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
