So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
