It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
