well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
