How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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