No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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