K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
