Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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