the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
