I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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