WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
