Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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