fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
should my penis look like a turkey
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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