im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
