I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
