Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Operation Purity has been aborted
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
