so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
