Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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